what if

I quit being a pot smoking sarcastic bitch and started being a nice classy homework doing good girl? It makes me wonder if then will they (you all) be happy. It's a repressive society where you can't be horrible, I'm not horrible, they made me horrible, I'm just honest.

I can't keep seeing him like this. I can't keep arguing and hurting him like this. I'm trying not to. I finally found this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. He drives me completely insane and none of his friends know why he deals with me. (My unstability and bitchy moodswings.) They just know that he wants to see me whenever I'm not there. And its confusing. And the reason why its so confusing is because maybe we found someone to put that missing piece into our day to day things. The piece we've been praying for. Its love. It may not be 'in love', but it sure is love. And though he never believes me its the only good thing going for me right now.

I can write and write, and I still get no answers from the supposed handful of you who read this.

I'm driven. I am. I'm driven for some reason. But I don't know where I'm going.