sunshine sunshine

Please don't take my sunshine away

Its been wierd lately. I keep on displeasing everyone around me. The ones I try my best to please end up dissapointed in me, and the ones I could care less about pleasing are the ones who bow down in approvement. Is this some sort of practical joke from the heavenly father himself? Or some love and affection from satan? I am getting mixed feelings lately. Very mixed feelings.

Well I got caught smoking marijuana by jess's ma and let me tell you that its not as pleasent as it sounds. I actually kinda felt bad, for opening her eyes to how un-innocent jess has become. I hope she doesn't think I'm the only corrupting influence in her life. I mean, there's a good chance that's exactly what she thinks. So long story short...me and jess are grounded for a bit until I can prove I'm trying my best to be a demon and not satan himself.

UUHHMM
Me and him are doing okay. For a second it was better, then it worse, and now its just alright. I like him a lot I really do, but its not so easy when he makes me feel like I'm the worst possible human being to have a relationship with. Wich may be true but he shouldn't be acknowledging it this far in. I'm confused as to when I should draw a conclusion. Wether it be positive for negative. His grandma obviously hopes its negative...

My mother is making an effort. I can feel it. I'm not alloud to see it but I can feel it and hear it in the sencerity. I love her wether you him or her think its the worst. I can't bring myself to hate who ill most likely be in 20 years. (If I last that long.) I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for that. Most people would kill to end up the opposite. I know I'm dying to be exactly the same.

I guess we're going to church tomarrow, (or technically today) says tina....we'll see how that goes. I can't wait for evan to be a piece of shit in front of people who take this 100% seriously. And jessica to be and athiestic cunt of a daughter. This is like a late birthday present!

Things I've given up 2008:
Him
Marijuana
Shitty books
Identity
Stuck up children over the conejo grade
Crush's
Television
Relationships with parents
Sexual intercourse at the worst time
Shady 'friends'
Trying so hard to hate music
Enjoying peoples horrible humor
Criticism
Critical people
Toleranc for both/all of the above.
Getting along with anyone I know I shouldn't like.