Isn't it funny how things work out?

Mistakes. You never know when your going to make one. You always think you do, but you don't ever know for sure.
I hate mistakes.

Confidence in everything I do is going to take a lot. A lot of things that I don't have. Life is beautiful, yet I'm struggling to keep a grasp on that. It shouldn't be this hard.

I'm not enrolled in camarillo high anymore. I feel the wieght off, but I know it won't be for long. (Please excuse my constant implication of pessimism.) I know I have to go to school, and what not. But, I definatly don't want to go to school in the valley, and I'm fearing the outcome of the transfer to westlake. My best alternative is independent studies. And I'm not so sure that'll work out. Is it just me, or is nothing easy anymore?

Today was rough on us all. I had a test in like all my classes. I would have had homework, but I no longer have the obligation to care. (Yeah, I am rubbing that in your face) I wanted to rip out cynthias eyes she used to be my best friend, but all I hear from her mouthe now is constant jealousy, hurt. I can feel it, almost to the point of hate. I don't understand what I did. I don't understand why she doesn't realize her life doesn't have to be that way. It should be easier for her, for us.

When I count my blessings .....
I don't dare say what you say. I give thanks for more. Much much more. Rather than family, rather than friends, rather than money I give thanks for things like:
Nature, gods will, smiles, and imagination.
The ability to determine where I stand.
I like freedom, and its a real bust to know that it'll end soon enough.

No one speaks truthe like god does, and that is why I am trusting in him to do what he has to do in this situation. My friends, my family, my whole life . I realize there's billions of people on this planet, and god chooses to love me like I'm the only one. It feels like nothing I can explain through mere words. I just wish everyone knew sooner rather than later.

Brianna has me worried.
Grandma has me worried.
Mother has me worried.
You have my worried.
Worry is something I don't need.

Excuse these pessemistic words. If I put off that impression at all. I'm going through a tough time. have faith.

Pray for the ability to keep my head on straight, and to stay clean and faithful.